2003-09-25

Quick one as I am being unfairly forced to slave away like the mindless peon that I am. BUT, I shall wedge writing time in my To Do list somewhere between �edit fifty billion asinine briefing notes� and �shoot self in head�, for I love you all and I know you can�t carry on your little lives without the shining beacon of my brilliance. Or something. Anyway, as requested, for your reading pleasure, behold: my sister.

As mentioned, yes, she is getting it on with our next-door neighbors. Yes, that is a plural �s� you noted there: she has hooked up with not one but BOTH the college students in the next apartment. Much drama ensued when Neighbor Number 1, who had cheated on his girlfriend with my sister and subsequently broken up with said girlfriend, ostensibly to get regular lovin� from my Sis, busted Sis drunkenly making out with Neighbor Number 2. Dum dum DUMMM! Sister has since sworn off all conjugal relations with NN2 and promised fidelity to NN1, who cheekily turned the tables on her and now claims he doesn�t want to be tied down by exclusivity.

It�s sort of like Three�s Company, except with binge drinking and sex. Also, please note: Sister is still unemployed. You may see me on the evening news sometime soon following my arrest for sororicide.

Oh! oh! I get to leave work early today. Yay! Except, NOT, because I have to go to some mandatory bullshit �sensitivity training� or something. Please insert my usual �my workplace is full of asshat gaytards� refrain here. So I have to sit around all afternoon being instructed, I don�t know, not to poke crippled people with a stick, I guess. Fuck off already: I KNOW that using terms like �fucking retard� is incredibly hurtful to those who are developmentally delayed. You know why I know that? BECAUSE I�M NOT FUCKING RETARDED. Group brainstorming about hypothetical scenarios concerning workplace sensitivity is not going to make me any less of an asshole; not that I imagine anyone cares � really this is all about the government trying to feel good about itself for being �proactive�. They can pro-act right on up my ass. Retards.

(Robin Smith � new and improved! Now with 50% more vitriol!)