2003-05-20

Big thanks to good ol� Queen Victoria for celebrating her birthday yesterday and giving me a day off work. Gotta love that the biggest prude in history is responsible for me dancing badly to Iggy Pop at a truly unholy hour on a Sunday night. I was even showing a bit of ankle. Scandalicious!

I was Ottawa�s ambassador for my friends this weekend, a task I effected with my trademark enthusiasm. It must have been like getting a guided tour from Jean Paul Sartre. �Well, that was the Byward Market. Yeah, that was all of it. It�s fairly useless. That didn�t kill much time � it�s only three o�clock, which is always too late or too early for anything you want to do. We could go look at the canal, but really there�s not much point. Slime is the agony of water. Let�s just go for drinks.�

Typically of Ottawa, summer has arrived with a vengeance. The second the last of the snow finally melts, we head straight on into infernal heat. A week ago I had to wear a jacket to work, and today I�m wearing a tank top to show off my sunburn. The weather here is reminiscent of nothing so much as divine retribution. It�s a good thing we have all those nut job fundamentalists from the southern States to tell us when the world will be coming to an end, because otherwise we�d be liable not to notice. �Fucking plague of locusts! Didn�t they spray this year? Oh, and NOW look. It�s raining fucking fire again. And I just BOUGHT this hat.�