2003-04-10

I guess winter can�t officially end without giving me one last kick in the ass. This morning, as I was walking my dog, I thought to myself, �Wow � I think this is it! The sun is shining, that last snowfall is melting�maybe this is really spring!� The corresponding spring in my step led to an ill-advised little hop over a snow bank, down a slight incline, onto what looked like a clear patch of sidewalk. The thing about ice? Is that it�s hard to see sometimes! Make a note of it. I went over like a fucking cartoon character. My legs were actually above my head at one point, affording the residents of the surrounding houses a pretty clear view up my skirt before I landed flat on my back. I think even my DOG was laughing at me, that bitch.

I swore like a sailor finding out the whorehouse has burned down, of course, gathered the tattered shreds of my dignity, and went on my way. I felt OK at the time, considering the altitude I�d reached before slamming down on the pavement spine-first, but now I feel like I�ve taken a sound beating. I smell the karma fairy at work somehow. Again. Man, I must have done something REALLY bad without even knowing it (drunken blackout, I�m looking your way). Fuck this jazz. Although I suppose shambling around screaming �The bells! THE BELLS!� for a few days is preferable to being reincarnated as a tapeworm.

Anyway. It�s drinks tonight with a friend, who is leaving for Vegas tomorrow (or, as she calls it, �Fucking VEGAS, baby! Woo!�) and thus won�t get a chance to see me again before I leave for my vacation (or as I call it, �Jesus fucking Christ, is it the fucking 17th yet?�). I imagine there will be a lot of �Woo�-ing and cheers-ing and general making of the merry, so don�t expect coherence or happy thoughts from me tomorrow (ha, yeah, like I�m SO noted for those particular things).