2003-11-04

Oh, the things I could tell you. Oh, the fun I could poke! Crazy things go on at my job. Damn this confidentiality agreement.

So that leaves me with, er, nothing to say. Lord knows my personal life isn�t supplying any hilarity these days. You wouldn�t think I had a life at all were it not for my obstinate refusal to stop breathing.

Tonight I have a hot hot date with Humphrey Bogart and a bag of Cracker Jacks. Perhaps I�ll find a really exciting prize in the bag and excitement will come home to stay. Perhaps I�ll find a non-sticking sticker and a joke that�s about as funny as botulism. You know, I don�t think I want to live in a world where you can�t even count on Cracker Jacks. I just can�t take it anymore: I�m going to go bore myself to death. Goodnight, cruel world!