2003-10-08

I�ve got those weird sunspots going on in my field of vision, and since I exist during the daylight hours in a dank cavelike hole of a cubicle far from the beneficent rays of the sun, this is odd. Also, I have the similarly odd feeling of a metal band being slowly tightened around my skull, and my hands are all yucky and clammy, and I can�t concentrate. Either I�ve got the Headache That Ate Tokyo coming on, or it�s a brain tumour.

I�ll take Death�s Door Number Two: I�m convinced it�s a tumour. I�m always convinced it�s a tumour. I�ve been convinced of my Brain Tumour Positive status since I was eight years old. If I really did have one, it�d be as big as a guinea pig by now, nibbling away at my medulla oblongata. However, I am a singularly lazy hypochondriac, and I will never go to the doctor to prove/disprove my morbid theories. I prefer to languish in ignorance until either my symptoms, such as they are, become too dire to ignore, or my illusory sickness (as was the case with that pesky fibromyalgia I had, and the congenital heart defect), ahem, goes into remission. That is to say, I find something else to worry about, like being paralyzed in a horrible car wreck (please note: I do not own a car).