2003-09-05

Someone found my site yesterday searching for �fucking function of elephant.� Ten Dada points for you right there, anonymous searcher! I hope you figured out how to properly fuck your elephant, good sir.

Yes to the weekend! I need to think of some fun things to do in Ottawa when you�re broke (yes, that�s the low-budget Canadian sequel to �Things To Do in Denver When You�re Dead�), for I am saving my hard-won pittance of a paycheck for my next trip to New York City, which will take place in approximately six days. Or, like, exactly six days. I�m flying in on September 11, and damned if I ain�t looking forward to the Carnival of Cavity Searches that airport security is bound to be on THAT auspicious day. Because, as Seanbaby so eloquently points out, if someone doesn�t confiscate my nail clippers, it will be mayhem in the skies!

No joke, I�ve had TWO corkscrews confiscated by airport security now (leading to a rather dangerous kitchen-knife assault on the last bottle of wine I bought). I keep putting them in my purse (a lady is always prepared) and forgetting about them. One shudders to think of the atrocities that could have been perpetrated had those small, somewhat sharp bits of metal not been conscientiously tossed in the trash. Flesh could have been viciously scratched! Bottles cruelly opened! The mind recoils from the mere notion of such carnage.

Anyway, take care of yourselves this weekend. Watch out for corkscrew-wielding maniacs.