2003-07-28

Montr�al, baby! Whoa yeah. I had ten kinds of crazy fun this weekend. For starters, Friday night I FINALLY made a punk rock pilgrimage to Les Foufounes Electriques (sort of Canada�s CBGB). Its former glory may have faded, but you really can�t go wrong listening to the Ramones and drinking Qu�bec microbrew from plastic cups in a bar called �The Electric Ass.�

Saturday was La Ronde. The amusement park experience is a strange combination of utter, endless, mind-numbing tedium followed by brief bursts of sheer terror. They should really call them �What are you, stupid? parks�. Since I obviously meet that criterion, I had a great time eating cotton candy and trusting my life to underpaid teenagers and dubious assemblages of metal and bolts. The lineups were a bit on the unreasonable side, though, especially for this ride. We waited for over an hour, in the rain, only to discover that the damn thing was apparently shut down. At least, that�s what we assumed � there were a few employees milling about, listlessly Windexing the seats (leading to speculation that perhaps there was some sort of vomiting incident), but providing no information whatsoever about whether the ride was in operation or if it might become so in the conceivable future. No announcement was made over the PA system. Everyone just�stood there. Our fellow liners-up were surprisingly stoic about this state of affairs � they seemed to accept as a matter of course that their hour-long wait would probably be completely wasted. No wonder the best existentialists were French. Not being French ourselves, my associate and I voiced our disapprobation of the situation to the tune of �WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK!? THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT!� and finally wandered off to find someone willing to scare the shit out of us like civilized people.

I came away from the experience with only the most minor of seizing back pain, and with a brand-new friend:

Woo! His name is Fucko. He accompanied me to the Casa del Popolo to see the Deadly Snakes, who are fucking rock all-stars. The organist grabbed Fucko at one point and started waving him in the air, giving me a valid reason to scream �HEY! You stole my monkey!� which was worth the price of admission right there.

The crowd at the Casa kicked ass. This guy was a fucking maniac. He did the best spas-tastic dance I�ve ever seen, and when I pointed my camera at him he immediately started licking his own nipple. I want him to be my friend.

This�uh�individual introduced the band. I�m not sure why. But it was fun to watch him drink beer two-fisted through his mask. Them minions of the underworld know how to get their freak on!

All in all, much fun was had, much beer was drunk, and MANY MANY MANY used CDs were purchased. I am rocking far beyond my means, but Jesus Christ � FOUR Robyn Hitchcock CDs? Aaauuugh! I am powerless to resist!