2003-06-20

Bwa ha! Expedia.ca just sent me an e-mail newsletter about their latest travel deals. The headline: �Why not Winnipeg this summer?� Uh�do they want me to answer that? Gosh, it�s hard to know where to start. WINNIPEG IS NOT A DESTINATION. You end up in Winnipeg. Winnipeg is a place hitchhikers get stuck in and subsequently tell horror stories about. It�s a place people get sent for business conferences, and those people roll their eyes and make jokes about not leaving the hotel. The weather in Winnipeg has created a niche market for Canadian stand-up comics coast to coast. Expedia�s article claims that Winnipeg has �warm dry weather� and that �there�s always something to do.� You know where else you can find warm dry weather? HELL. And although I suppose that technically speaking, �drinking malt liquor under a bridge whilst erratically swinging a baseball bat to fend off mosquitoes the size of Condors� does qualify as �something to do,� oddly, I haven�t noticed many brochures in my local travel agency featuring that type of activity. Thanks anyway, but I think I�ll spend my hard-earned dollars traveling to someplace with, you know, scenery perhaps? Culture? Indoor plumbing? (Kidding. I hear they�ve just had a toilet installed.)