2002-12-26

Oh dear GOD, I�m so fucking bored I could eat my face. Why am I even here? This place is a fucking ghost town. I swear I just saw a tumbleweed drift across the hallway, and I�m thinking of installing swinging doors on my cubicle, changing my name to �Miss Kitty� and renting my sweet ass out to passing gunslingers just to liven things up a little.

I watched The Remains of the Day last night, and inspired by Sir Anthony�s character, I�ve become convinced that there is NO conversation that can�t be satisfactorily concluded with some combination of the phrases �Indeed�, �Quite so�, and �Very good�. They are all-purpose. That�s all I�m saying to people from now on if I don�t want to talk to them, which is often the case here since I�m surrounded by howling mongoloids; and �Quite so� beats the shit out of �Suck my dick, you fucking dick-sucking dick sucker!� when it comes to not getting fired, I�ll tell ya THAT for free. Observe:

�Hey Robin, get working on that briefing note! It needs to be in the Minister�s office by three.�
�Very good.�

�Hey Robin, I don�t like your amendments to this letter. I think it needs more of a �chummy� feel to it. Don�t you think? Dumb it down a little, right?�
�Indeed.�

�Listen up, fruitcake! If anyone asks you if you�ve seen a dead squirrel lying around here someplace, you don�t know NOTHING! You got that? Hey fruitcake?�
�Quite so.�

See? They work in ANY SITUATION AT ALL.