Iím taking a stand! I refuse to be cold today! I have fucking had it. My cubicle is home to a localized concentration of paranormal activity: at least, thatís how I choose to explain the fact that my workspace is ten degrees colder than the surrounding area, despite having no door and no fucking ceiling. I wear sweaters to no avail Ė every day by mid-afternoon, my core body temperature has dropped to medically-worrisome levels, and I spend my working hours hunched over a cup of tea with my hands pulled into my sleeves. My nails, seriously, turn blue. Every day. Itís like working in a Siberian penal colony, except with a dental plan.
But today I pulled out the big guns. Itching be damned: Iím wearing my army sweater. Itís like a cable-knit space suit. This thing would keep me warm on Jupiter. Plus it has epaulettes! And everything is better with epaulettes, no? Theyíre so handy in those situations where you desperately need to button something to your shoulder.
Anyway. So, Iím natty, stylish and thermally viable today, and that is good. Also, I hope to remain warm for the conceivable future, since this is my last day in this cubicle. We have a new person starting on Monday who will be working directly with the woman sitting across from me, so theyíre sending me off to a distant, quiet corner next to a window. Hurrah! Peace, quiet, natural light, and sensation in my extremities: who could ask for more?