2004-01-12

This weekend I achieved one of my longstanding goals: I finally saw the Fatboy Slim video featuring Christopher Walken doing a dance routine. Before you point it out, yes: my longstanding goals do tend to be trivial and easily realized. But that means that I can achieve many of them, and subsequently feel happy with myself on a frequent basis; so put that in your oxygen tank and smoke it, all you overachieving Everest Climbers. Anyway, I�ve now seen Christopher Walken dance, and it was everything I thought it would be, not least �unsettling� and �vaguely creepy.� I do so love Christopher Walken, and so should you, because if you don�t he might find out and then you�re fucked. Look at him! He�ll cut you, cocksuckers!

Moving along. So, I hear it�s a whole new year now. I�ve made the requisite number of goof-ups in writing down the date, reinforcing my view that having a chequing account is more trouble than it�s worth. (I�ve got the �depositing� and �withdrawing� actions down pat, but �balancing� is far too athletic-sounding to be included in my financial regime.) I�ve also failed to procure a new calendar for my office, and now I panic whenever I need to remember the date, because obviously it is not possible for me to just think of yesterday�s date and then add one digit to that. What if I need to know what date it will be on Tuesday three weeks from now? What then? 2004 as a whole is proving extremely inconvenient. I vote to repeal it. I also vote to repeal the honours-level grades I got in my math classes, because clearly they were some sort of fluke.