2003-08-21

Yesterday I was asked to volunteer for a photo shoot for some publication the Communications department is producing. They�re looking for photos of young government employees �in action� at their workstations. Of course I responded with a sarcastic �Gosh, thanks, but NO,� accompanied by the appropriate derisive snort.

The guy actually said �in action� without apparent irony, as though �government employees in action� wasn�t the most egregious contradiction in terms since �Fox news�. Unless they want me to add �Oscar-worthy thespianism� (it is too a word) to my roster of job qualifications, photographing me at so-called work, in so-called action, would result in the photographic equivalent of a still-life painting, only with more visibly radiating loathing (�No, that�s not my Spidey-sense. That�s how much I hate you.�). They might be able to get a few good �action� shots if they catch me unawares, enthusiastically performing such tasks as rolling my eyes, surfing the internet, and giving the finger to the retreating backs of my coworkers.