2002-12-19

Well, any designs I may have had on behaving myself last night mysteriously disappeared after my fourth pint of Bass. Most likely I drank them, along with everything else within grabbing distance. What began as a civilized evening of witty repartee at a scotch bar rapidly degenerated into bouts of coaster-throwing and a badly-formulated plan to meet up at a live show at another bar. Badly formulated because no-one bothered to explain to me that this show was of a REGGAE nature. So I ended up waiting in line for twenty minutes and then paying five bucks to get in. To see REGGAE. That�s like getting on your knees and begging to be kicked in the face, really.

While I was waiting outside, two drunken scags stumbled up to the head of the line and tried to get past the doorman by insisting that they�d already paid and that their friends were inside. The doorman wasn�t having any of it and told them to get to the back of the line, so they changed tactics, loudly claiming that they were with the group who were next up to get in. �Are they with you?� the doorman asked the group. �No,� said the group�s spokesperson. Not to be deterred, Tweedle-twat and Tweedle-snatch tried to insinuate themselves into the lineup by brute force, leaning on me to get me to move aside. Not being your average �Jah love� stank-ass patchouli-wearing reggae fan, I pushed back, and the less catastrophically retarded of the pair slurred an apology. �I�ll let you live this time,� I said. Because I love saying that.

Needless to say, the show nearly sucked itself inside out, forcing me to consume epic amounts of lager to maintain my good spirits. I got in a discussion with a friend of a friend regarding the relative merits of ska and reggae � she being of the opinion that reggae is the more entertaining of the two. Naturally, I responded to THAT by yelling �A message to YOU, Rudy!� and skanking her in the box. OK, not really.

Well, in two hours I�ll be off to Toronto for the weekend to make a drunken cock of myself in another city for a change � variety being the spice of life and all. I�ll miss you lovelies! (Some of you perhaps more than others.) I'll love you 'till Tuesday and talk to you Monday.