2002-12-11

Why are only male news anchors allowed to be ugly? I don�t want to get on some sort of quasi-feminist rant here (sorry, I only do petulant, nonsensical and/or offensive rants), but the gender discrepancy in this case is painfully obvious. Sometimes more painful than others, like last night, for example, when my eyeballs turned completely around and retreated a foot inside my skull at the sight of Global Television�s on-site reporter. Geee-aaaahd. The guy looked like a parade float, for fuck�s sake. His head was hydrocephalicious. It was HUGE. A fair-sized biplane could have safely performed an emergency landing on his forehead. And one of his eyebrows was, seriously, like WAY further up the freakishly deformed cranium than the other. I�d say there was at least a four-hour time zone difference between them. I�ll concede that such a malformed creature SHOULD be in the public eye, but in less of a journalistic capacity and more of a �two bits a gander,� traveling-sideshow kind of way. I can only imagine how the ad for his job must have read: �Experienced investigative journalist needed. Affinity for large bells, gargoyles, and nubile gypsy women an asset.�