2002-11-01

�You�re a very beautiful woman. You�re tall, and you have very shapely legs.� (pause) �No, I�ve gained another half pound. I was down two pounds over the summer, but I�ve gained it back. I�m just going to stick to the program, and not beat myself up over it.� (pause) (unintelligible) �I REALLY don�t like dressing and undressing in front of my colleagues.� (pause) �I�m here at 8:30 and I leave at 4:20, so I don�t have much of a choice.� (pause) (unintelligible) �She was sort of apologetic, but I was like, �Honey, I�m paying YOU.��

I�m not making this shit up. This is a phone conversation that the woman in the next cubicle is having right now. She does this ALL DAY. Like, want to PRETEND you�re working sometimes? Like I�m doing here? Want to at least present an illusion that the tax dollars that pay your salary aren�t being flushed down the toilet along with my FUCKING LUNCH?

I spend a lot of time here mouthing �Shut the FUCKING FUCK UP!� and making rude gestures at the cubicle divider.

Grooooaaan. I�m SO not in the mood to hear about this woman�s spinning class. I�m hella hung over. I love you, Sleeman Honey Brown lager! I love you, baby, but you hurt me. Why you gotta treat me so bad? What did my head ever do to you, huh?

Good times were had by all at the Dominion last night. Big Jeezus Truck were pretty rockin�, although they had a goddamn smoke machine cranking out toxic fumes for the whole set, so now my eyes feel like someone cut my Visine with Javex. That, and the accumulated total of eight hours of sleep I�ve had in the past TWO nights, is making me very cranky indeed. I�m just going to huddle in my cubicle all day, waiting for death or five o�clock, whichever comes first. My zombie act at the party tonight is going to be extremely convincing.