2005-01-29

There must, and shall be aspirins. Unnnggghh. Hangover City! Allow me to present for your edification a brief dramatisation to illustrate how I came to be in this unfortunate condition:

Time: Last night, 6 PM (approx.)
Locale: My brain

ID: Beer.

SUPEREGO: You must not go out for a beer. You have to work twelve hours tomorrow.

ID: Beer!

SUPEREGO: I forbid you to have any beer! You are due to get up at six AM.

ID: BEER BEER BEER!

Faced with this kind of reasoning, my best intentions crumbled and I went out for a beer. Goddamn my brain. Making matters worse this morning, as I careened around the flat in a state of advanced mental retardation (�Shoes wha? No! Trousers first.�), I had to put forth the extra effort to make myself look not only presentable but pretty (a heroic feat in the best of circumstances, yes), BECAUSE! Last night at the pub, I spotted a really hot guy who was totally making eyes at me. �Wow!� thought I. Minutes later, he came up to the table. �Hey,� he said. �Do you work at The News?� �Oh,� thought I.

�Yeah, I thought I recognized you,� I said. (Complete bollocks, but I recognize hotness when I see it.) Upon being informed that today is my last shift, he promised to come over and say hello. Ding dong! Hope he doesn�t mind that I am unable to, like, speak in full sentences or stand upright. Eh, guys aren�t that fussy, are they?

As the evening, and my drunkenness, progressed, we moved from the Wine Vaults to late-night dancing at the Wedgewood Rooms, where I met a lovely bloke who was kind enough to snog me in public for half an hour. Baby got class! Then I spotted another cute guy, whereupon I said to Bloke #1, �I�m going to go flirt with him for a while,� which I did. Reviewing my text messages today, it seems I have a date Sunday night � the question being, as always, with whom? My life is so challenging sometimes.