2004-12-31

Tie up your sons and leave them on the porch, because I am BACK. Not that anybody probably cares at this point, but I just couldn�t stay away. I miss my hordes of adoring fans, or at least the occasional misspelled e-mail informing me (rightly so) that my �websight RULZ�. How can a girl get by without that kind of solid emotional validation?

Anyway, here�s the update: I�m now living in Portsmouth, having come down here on holiday and met a crowd of insane people who immediately recognized me as one of their own. I packed up my belongings and moved two weeks later. I�m still working in a bar, although a slightly less horrifically degenerate one, and also part-timing it at the local newspaper doing copy inputting (have not yet had opportunity to use the phrase �Stop the press!� but am eagerly awaiting the chance). I might soon be starting a full-time job as an administrative assistant in a homeless hostel�sadly, in Basingstoke, which has no attractions worth mentioning, besides a disproportionately large number of roundabouts. (Top tourist destination, natch.)

I am drinking too much, making no money, living off tinned curries, and sharing a toilet in my tiny bedsit with a man whose body odour could be patented by the US army for use in deadly chemical warfare. But I�m feeling quite on top of the world. Particularly because so far this winter, I have seen NOT ONE SINGLE SNOWFLAKE. Ha ha ha! Eat that, Canada!

Anyway, I hope anyone out there who might chance across my pitiful attempt at a comeback is doing well. Happy New Year.