2004-12-31

Tie up your sons and leave them on the porch, because I am BACK. Not that anybody probably cares at this point, but I just couldn’t stay away. I miss my hordes of adoring fans, or at least the occasional misspelled e-mail informing me (rightly so) that my “websight RULZ”. How can a girl get by without that kind of solid emotional validation?

Anyway, here’s the update: I’m now living in Portsmouth, having come down here on holiday and met a crowd of insane people who immediately recognized me as one of their own. I packed up my belongings and moved two weeks later. I’m still working in a bar, although a slightly less horrifically degenerate one, and also part-timing it at the local newspaper doing copy inputting (have not yet had opportunity to use the phrase “Stop the press!” but am eagerly awaiting the chance). I might soon be starting a full-time job as an administrative assistant in a homeless hostel…sadly, in Basingstoke, which has no attractions worth mentioning, besides a disproportionately large number of roundabouts. (Top tourist destination, natch.)

I am drinking too much, making no money, living off tinned curries, and sharing a toilet in my tiny bedsit with a man whose body odour could be patented by the US army for use in deadly chemical warfare. But I’m feeling quite on top of the world. Particularly because so far this winter, I have seen NOT ONE SINGLE SNOWFLAKE. Ha ha ha! Eat that, Canada!

Anyway, I hope anyone out there who might chance across my pitiful attempt at a comeback is doing well. Happy New Year.