2004-04-28

Men in suits and ties really shouldn’t carry loose change in their pockets. That jingle of coins really drives home the “fat cat capitalist” impression. Whenever I hear a man in a suit jingling the change in his pockets, it reminds me of the homeless street punks I used to hang out with: the suits with AUDIBLE MONEY in their pockets were always the ones who wouldn’t even acknowledge the filthy presence of a ragamuffin panhandler, let alone cough up a spare quarter. I still get a hankering for kickin’ when I hear that sound.

In keeping with my recent theme of picking on hippies (capitalists, socialists…no ‘ist’ is safe from my all-encompassing derision!): For some reason, this morning I remembered a dialogue I heard on a late-night college radio show years and years ago. The hosts were talking about the game “Hungry Hungry Hippos.”

“I had that game when I was a kid. I think I pounded on the hippos a bit too hard, though, because after a while they stopped working.”

“The hippos didn’t work?”

“No.”

“The game should have been called ‘Hungry Hungry Hippies,’ then, shouldn’t it?”

Badum-bum!

Feel free to follow Rachel’s example and post your favourite hippie-disparaging jokes in my Comments section! It’s spring, after all, and as the weather (theoretically) warms up, the hippies are starting to get ripe. Best to pick on them while they’re fresh.