2004-03-22

I’ve bitten the inside of my lower lip, and now it’s all swollen and in the way of my teeth, ensuring that I eat another sizeable chunk of my own face at every meal. It’s very painful, and it’s making me question my status as a vegetarian.

Speaking of eating faces, Dawn of the Dead profoundly rocked my shit. It rocked it hard, and then it rocked it some more. I am notoriously uncritical when it comes to undead cinema, of course, but really – who could complain about a movie featuring a chainsaw being brandished out the side of an armoured vehicle? That’s gold, motherfuckers! I don’t think there’s a film in existence that wouldn’t benefit from a bit of added chainsaw action. Like, imagine at the end of Beaches if Barbara Hershey had cut off Bette Midler’s breasts with a chainsaw. Wouldn’t that have made for a much improved viewing experience? Darn tootin’ it would.

(Note: please click the above link for Beaches. It will make you want a chainsaw of your very own.)