2004-03-22

I�ve bitten the inside of my lower lip, and now it�s all swollen and in the way of my teeth, ensuring that I eat another sizeable chunk of my own face at every meal. It�s very painful, and it�s making me question my status as a vegetarian.

Speaking of eating faces, Dawn of the Dead profoundly rocked my shit. It rocked it hard, and then it rocked it some more. I am notoriously uncritical when it comes to undead cinema, of course, but really � who could complain about a movie featuring a chainsaw being brandished out the side of an armoured vehicle? That�s gold, motherfuckers! I don�t think there�s a film in existence that wouldn�t benefit from a bit of added chainsaw action. Like, imagine at the end of Beaches if Barbara Hershey had cut off Bette Midler�s breasts with a chainsaw. Wouldn�t that have made for a much improved viewing experience? Darn tootin� it would.

(Note: please click the above link for Beaches. It will make you want a chainsaw of your very own.)