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2004-01-29

I�m dog-sitting for a few days for Monster�s pair of schnauzers, or as I affectionately call them, �the hideous rat-creatures.� As I�ve mentioned before, people are strangely attracted to these spindly excuses for dogs because OH MY GOD THERE ARE TWO OF THEM!!! Apparently putting one mangy weasel-dog next to another mangy weasel-dog doesn�t double the cuteness factor � it squares it, forcing me to take part in early-morning conversations that do precious little for my joie de vivre:

Random menopausal freakshow: �Oh, how ADORABLE! Look at the DOGS! They�re so CUTE!�

Me: �You think so? Huh.�

Dog-sitting also entails sleeping over at Monster�s place, because the hideous rat-creatures will not survive alone in the untamed wilderness of a two-bedroom apartment. This means that my evenings are spent skulking around avoiding Monster�s roommate, not because he�s anything but a fantastic guy, but because I�m so sensitive to having my space invaded that I project that same sensitivity onto everyone else, and automatically assume that people in general don�t want me in their homes. Inside my skull is a fun place to be, I can tell you.

Long story short: I need a beer. � vendredi!

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