2004-01-26

On Saturday I got to see a car crash, which was great. I�m a big fan of car crashes. It�s the best entertainment available here in the Canadian outback; you know, when we�re not busy tobogganing or moose-tipping or what-have-you.

This was a gooder, too: I was walking and heard an ambulance coming, so I scooted through the intersection to get out of the way. Just when I�d cleared it, I heard the familiar �SMACK-screech-HOOONNNNNNK� sound of vehicular carnage. I turned around to find that some halfwit woman had decided that the approaching siren was obviously not directed at her, and had ploughed full-speed into the intersection, resulting in being hit by the ambulance and spun 360%. Rock on! That�s good crashing!

I was appropriately delighted at the �injured by an ambulance� irony: my enthusiasm was only slightly dampened by the sight of the woman emerging intact from her car. I stood and gawked for a few seconds, trying to figure out whether I qualified as a witness since I�d had my back turned. After exchanging a bemused shrug with a fellow pedestrian, I continued on my way, because if I�d stuck around to provide the police with my completely unhelpful version of events they�d have had to send another ambulance to collect me at the end of it � dude, it be COLD � and also, I was bored by that point. Is it breaking the law for a witness to leave the scene of an accident? I hope so, because my Punk Rock points are at an all-time low. I�m reduced to jaywalking to up my cred these days. If this trend continues, I�ll have to take a pair of scissors and visit the mattress section of my local department store, if you know what I�m saying. And I think you do.