2003-12-02

Today was like the ass end of an alligator: it was long, and it dragged. Mid-morning found me rooting through my stash of teas and despairing, for not a milligram of caffeine was to be found among the lot. I was tired enough to curl up for a nap in a closed casket, thanks to my sister and Mr. Home Invasion. Not being satisfied with scaring the shit out of me, apparently, Home Invasion took it upon himself to annoy the shit out of me as well. He accompanied my sister home last night after work (their shift ends at 2:00 AM), whereupon they proceeded to have a bottle of wine. Each. As the cares of the working day drifted slowly to the bottom of a sea of cheap Shiraz, spirits lifted, and so did the fucking decibel level. For someone who is obviously benightedly unintelligent, Home Invasion seems to be pretty damned witty � every comment he made sparked peals of delighted giggles from my sister, which I heard painfully clearly no matter how many pillows I smushed over my head.

This morning, as I shambled about the apartment like a drugged mental patient, I took the opportunity to invite the Clash to make a special guest appearance in my living room, complete with skull-rending volume. I heard faint stirrings from my sister�s bedroom, which I can only hope was agonized writhing. A bottle of red wine, two hours� sleep and the Clash: instant hangover! Just add dry heaves!