2003-11-04

Oh, the things I could tell you. Oh, the fun I could poke! Crazy things go on at my job. Damn this confidentiality agreement.

So that leaves me with, er, nothing to say. Lord knows my personal life isn’t supplying any hilarity these days. You wouldn’t think I had a life at all were it not for my obstinate refusal to stop breathing.

Tonight I have a hot hot date with Humphrey Bogart and a bag of Cracker Jacks. Perhaps I’ll find a really exciting prize in the bag and excitement will come home to stay. Perhaps I’ll find a non-sticking sticker and a joke that’s about as funny as botulism. You know, I don’t think I want to live in a world where you can’t even count on Cracker Jacks. I just can’t take it anymore: I’m going to go bore myself to death. Goodnight, cruel world!