2003-08-28

I wore a sweater in to work today � I didn�t merely don it in a fit of convulsive shivering after the arctic blast of air conditioning here in the government Hive-O-Plex flash-froze the sheen of sweat on my skin into a rigid ice suit: no. I went outside, thought, �Gee, it�s a bit chilly,� except that I never use the word �gee� even in my private thoughts because I�m not fucking Amish, and I put on my sweater. This makes me happy. I officially DO NOT HATE the weather right now. Bring on fall! Fall means sweaters and corduroy jackets and cardigans! Three cheers for cardigans, most pragmatic of all items of clothing, well-represented in my closet in many shades of pragmatic brown! Huzzah!

Alas, the soothing wave of cool weather has not yet smothered the raging stank of the nasty people who seem to follow me around for the express purpose of sitting next to me on the bus. Last night was especially heinous. The gentleman in front of me, clad in a tank top so as to let the oppressive fug emanating from his person drift freely in the summer breeze, was putting up a reek so mighty and fierce it should have been featured on Wild Kingdom. As I cast my eyes upwards, looking to the overhead air vent for salvation, I marveled at the sheer dedication it would take for someone who is obviously not homeless to achieve such a heightened state of stink. You�d have to spend days � weeks! � merrily disregarding the whole concept of indoor plumbing, passing the time that would otherwise be spent bathing looking for dead goats to roll around in. This man smelled bad. VERY VERY BAD. Is what I am sayin� to you.

Last night I met a direct descendant of Marie Antoinette. For real! Looked just like her, too, except with a head.