2003-08-21

Yesterday I was asked to volunteer for a photo shoot for some publication the Communications department is producing. They’re looking for photos of young government employees “in action” at their workstations. Of course I responded with a sarcastic “Gosh, thanks, but NO,” accompanied by the appropriate derisive snort.

The guy actually said “in action” without apparent irony, as though “government employees in action” wasn’t the most egregious contradiction in terms since “Fox news”. Unless they want me to add “Oscar-worthy thespianism” (it is too a word) to my roster of job qualifications, photographing me at so-called work, in so-called action, would result in the photographic equivalent of a still-life painting, only with more visibly radiating loathing (“No, that’s not my Spidey-sense. That’s how much I hate you.”). They might be able to get a few good “action” shots if they catch me unawares, enthusiastically performing such tasks as rolling my eyes, surfing the internet, and giving the finger to the retreating backs of my coworkers.