2003-06-17

Last night, while I was walking the shrill, rat-like creatures whose care had been inexplicably entrusted to me, my shoe broke. I was wearing sandals, and the top part just popped off the sole, leaving me to hobble back to the apartment, outpaced by a pair of “dogs” with legs like furry toothpicks. This irks me, putting, as it does, a crimp in my plans to spend exactly zero dollars this summer. I’ve been Dickensian in my poverty, continuing to wear a bra that offers “support” as though it were a UN council and my boobs were the big ol’ gun-toting USA (big guns indeed – I nearly put my eye out running for the bus); and, upon being faced with a dearth of groceries, making use of the giant bag of barley that I bought sometime far in the shadowed past, presumably on some passing whim to eat health food. BARLEY! What the holy hell does one do with barley, exactly? I’ve only ever seen it in soup. Anyway, I put some of it in a pot with water and boiled it, and it got really really big and then sat in my fridge for a week. I feel healthier already.

So, I guess it’s off to Payless this weekend, in keeping with the spirit of economy and pathos. A girl can’t wear combat boots all summer. Well, a girl can, actually, and this girl in fact has, along with a leather jacket, but now that I’m not seventeen anymore, cooler heads, and feet, shall prevail. I’ll pay twenty bucks for some wretched plastic things that will slice the tops of my feet to fillets and promptly fall apart as soon as they become comfortable.