2003-05-22

Well, I can proudly say I learned exactly nothing at all on my Outlook Express training this morning. Not because I’m some sort of communications software expert, but because I spent the entire course altering my signature to read “Robin Smith, Ninja Assassin” in purple curlicue font and, because I am eight years old, surreptitiously exchanging smart-alecky e-mails with my coworkers; which escalated into boredom-fueled tangents resulting in messages like, “I wish Johnny Cash was our instructor. He once deleted a correspondent in Reno just to watch him die.”

Tax dollars well spent.

So, yeah. Big Apple tomorrow. I got wicked cheap plane tickets, which I booked online in about five minutes, not noticing that the journey involves a THREE HOUR stopover in DETROIT. Three hours in the Detroit airport. Rock City or no, that’s ten pounds of raw ass. New York better be some fun to make up for that.

Assuming I’m not raped, murdered or otherwise inconvenienced (I’ve heard what you yanks are like), I’ll talk to y’all on Monday.