2002-12-17

Ah, Canada Post. Canada FUCKING Post. How I love you. Except for that �love� part. I ordered my sister�s Christmas present from Amazon.ca this year. I�ve had no problem with them in the past � they�re based in Montr�al, so orders are usually delivered within three days. My sister really wants the Pulp Fiction soundtrack (wow, dare to dream there, sis), so a couple of weeks ago I took two minutes out of my life to punch in my credit card number and order it for her. I�m a good sister.

Two days later, I get the message that it�s been sent out. Good stuff. I�m expecting it within the week, as usual. The week goes by � no package in the mail. Hmm. I decide to wait a few more days without worrying about it, since orders are probably backed up over the holidays, right? Of course. Another week goes by, and I decide to check up on things. Amazon�s website informs me that the package has been �successfully delivered.� I think perhaps Amazon�s criteria for success are a bit less stringent than are mine, because in my mind, saying a package has been �successfully delivered� implies that it has actually REACHED ITS DESTINATION, which is, judging by all available evidence, not the case. In other words, no CD.

I think what happened is that Canada Post just left the package outside my door, rather than putting it in my LOCKED mailbox, which is more than capacious enough to accommodate a CD. They do that every once in a while. I�ve never had anything go missing before, but seeing as my apartment building is populated by some pretty sketchy characters, and also seeing as the lock on the front door is regarded by my retard landlord as nothing more than a kicky design feature, it was only a matter of time before someone decided to make off with one of my deliveries. I imagine some fuckbag is selling my sister�s Christmas gift at a pawn shop right now for five bucks so he can enjoy the spirit of the season with some festive crack. God bless us, every one. Except you, Canada Post. You get a big stocking full of chode.