2002-12-15

I�ve written briefly before about my sister�s boyfriend. (Well, in that entry I said they�d broken up. Much to my chagrin, they got back together.) I�ve been tempted to bitch about him on this site � dude is definitely good for a few choice laughs � but I figured hey, he could easily stumble across this page, and you know, things could get uncomfortable.

But just now, I happened to glance at the addresses that appear in the drop-down box in the address bar of my browser � you know, the pages that get stored in your history folder because they�ve been visited recently? �Hmm,� I thought. ��Project Voyeur�? That doesn�t sound familiar. That, in fact, sounds like PORN.� I clicked on it out of curiosity, and lo and behold. It�s porn.

Now. Thankfully, Boyfriend does not live here anymore, but of course, being my sister�s boyfriend, he�s here quite frequently. In the interests of maintaining diplomatic relations, I haven�t bitched about the long-distance phone calls he made on MY phone that he never paid for (he actually never paid for any part of the phone bill while he lived here). I haven�t bitched about the constant presence of several cases� worth of empty beer bottles in MY kitchen. I have not bitched about the illegal cable that I specifically asked that he not install on MY television set, and which of course he installed anyway. I did not even bitch when I was gently roused to consciousness last Saturday morning by the dulcet sound of Mr. Macrobrew VOMITING in MY bathroom (which he subsequently did NOT scrub down, might I add). I need to take a fucking laxative � I�m backed up to my molars with pent-up bitching. I have not even bitched about him making use of MY computer to surf the internet.

But dude? How much of a fucking idiot are you? You go to some amateur porn site and don�t even clear the history folder? I�m sorry, but you go to your GIRLFRIEND�s apartment and use HER SISTER�s computer to look at fucking PORN, and you don�t have the bare, tattered, threadbare, moth-eaten shreds of intelligence necessary to eliminate the blatantly obvious evidence? Man�that�s just too much. You�ve got to be eligible for some sort of retard prize for that. Obviously, when they were handing out brains, this guy was off huffing gasoline. And I�m sorry, you lobotomized fuck, but you can bet your fucking hick ass I�m going to make fun of you on the internet now. That is the PRICE YOU PAY, you goddamn half-wit spank monkey.

Now if you�ll excuse me, I�m going to go boil my hard drive. Then I�m going to cook up one big giant helping of Suck My Ass, extra special for my favourite troglodyte.