2002-12-03

I was drinking with some friends of mine a few months ago, and one of them made the mistake of telling me about an odd habit of a friend of his. Apparently, when this fellow ties one on, he likes to think up funny names for Scheize films. My friend told me this in a "What a freak, eh?" kind of way, but it had the unintended result of causing me to burst into uncontrollable, hysterical laughter for upwards of ten minutes. Although alcohol may have been a factor in the level of my amusement - I can neither confirm nor deny such reports - I still think that's damn ass funny. For your enjoyment, I have assembled a brief list of some of my favourite titles. If you, dear reader, like me, love you some doody humour, please e-mail me your contributions to the list. I plan to compile them in a tasteful coffee table book to be published next fall.

Turd on a Wire

Scat on a Hot Tin Roof

Mr. Smith Goes to the Washroom

One Flew Over the Poopoo's Nest

Forrest Dump

Das Poop

Turds of Endearment

Crappy Gilmore

Farticus

Starship Poopers

Tour of Doody

Interestingly, the Word spell-check software will accept "poopers" as a word, but not "poopoo," or even "turd." I wonder who made THAT executive decision. I'm looking at you, Bill "poopoo-turd-head" Gates.

Hey, I just noticed that someone found this page while doing a search for "decay pictures." What is that, some sort of bizarre sexual predilection? I sure hope he found what he was looking for! Come for the misleading search results, stay for the sexy photos.