2002-10-17

Well, that Echinacea did the trick and kicked that cold right in the ass. Of course, I immediately compensated for my lack of anything to complain about by giving myself a hangover! Which isn't helping my cold go away any faster, I dare say. Actually, I'm not TOO hung over - just tired, mostly, since I didn't get home until well after 2:00, and then got up for work at 6:30. I'm such a trooper. If, of course, by "trooper," you mean "moron." I really have to stop staying out so late on weekdays. But I tell ya, they'll be making pointy-tailed snow angels in Hell before I turn down an invite from a cute guy. Or a free beer. Or, especially, a free beer from a cute guy. All three of which were forthcoming last night. Hooray! I mean, ow.

And speaking of...ack, I don't think there's a slick segue to be had here. Anyway. I'm thinking I need to watch more zombie movies. I love me some zombie movies! Dawn of the Dead? That's some funny-ass shit. I love zombie movies because of the monumental implausibility of the basic premise. And I'm not talking about, you know, the dead coming forth from their graves and devouring the brains of the living. THAT I can accept, no problemo. I'm talking about the fact that in zombie movies, the zombies actually seem to pose a significant threat to society at large. How is this possible? I mean, really. The rule is, you can kill a zombie by shooting it in the head, right? Fair enough. Now, shooting someone in the head is something that can be done from a safe distance, quickly, and relatively easily if you have time to aim properly. Zombies? Are not fast, agile, or particularly stealthy. They do that one-foot-dragging, arms-out, slack-jawed, "Uuuurrrgghhh, braaaaaiiiiiins" zombie walk. You can see, and hear, the damn things coming a mile away, and they take their sweet time covering that mile too. Get the army out there with some automatic weapons, and BLAMMO! No more zombie problem. I mean, you have to be a real slow coach to get killed by a zombie. If you don't have a gun, RUN AWAY. You're not going to be overtaken by a drooling freak who looks like he's in the last stages of leprosy.

And that? Is why I love the zombie movies. I love the sheer, unavoidable stupidity. And the scenes with people having their skulls ripped open by the undead. Those are good too.